Into the Light Ministries Christian Flag

The Life Of The Party
Sex Is Not As Popular As You Think!

Sex is everywhere whether it be two people parked out on some old back street, homosexuals or the alternative lifestyle movement, or even the murder of an unborn child (known today as an abortion), being performed this very moment only 38 miles north of my hometown. It's everywhere.

From the vast array of problems facing young Christians today I am faced with one frequent question. What does that question deal with? Sex before marriage. Although there may be one, I am not aware of a single church that actively teaches or has classes on the subject of scriptural sexuality among teenagers, or at least incorporates the teachings on each and every subject that concerns the Christian youth of today.

Puberty is a time of discovering sex in general and of discovering your own sexuality. Many questions arise during this time:

  • What about dating?
  • What about kissing?
  • What kind of kissing?
  • How much is too much?
  • How far is too far?
  • Peer pressure and all of its ramifications.

I hope to cover all of these issues in this message. No doubt some, if not many, will argue or debate with me and therein is the reason why many churches, youth pastors, and senior pastors are afraid to teach or even touch on the subjects I am about to venture into.

I take this stance because of first-hand knowledge that teenagers are the same throughout the world and all of us are very concerned about these matters. I pray God will give me the wisdom to answer correctly in each and every area. Having said that let us now go forward into the areas of concern previously mentioned.

Let's start with the subject of dating. The ages for dating are almost always set by parents and I have found this to be true worldwide. You may not agree with your parent's decision but let's remember that your parents were once young, Woodstock era teenagers. They had their fair share of drugs, alcohol, and yes, even sex. They know what it's like to be young and yes, they probably know you a lot better then you know yourself. They know your limits of responsibility, how much you can be trusted with, how much you can handle, etc. They are aware of your friends, and yes, they too are familiar with peer pressure. (Remember the Woodstock generation.) But most importantly, let us remember what the Bible says. The Lord God has given us the first commandment with a promise: "Honor thy Father and thy Mother, that all may go well with thee in the land," (Exodus 20:12.) God means what He says. Remember, whatever your dreams and aspirations are, follow this promise and all shall go well with thee. For God, who cannot lie has made this promise to you.

There are those who say that the young should not date because it is not mentioned in the Bible, but then neither are toilet paper, cars, airplanes, etc., and people have no problem with these things. How would you get to school or work without you car? Likewise, how would you ever get to know someone without spending some time with them? As far I am concerned there is no problem with dating, in fact, I encourage it. Just be careful how far it goes.

As far as kissing is concerned, I see no problem with it as long as it is in moderation and it is in the right setting, (i.e. not by yourself on some dark country road in the middle of the night.) The other thing with kissing is that it has to be something you and your other half can do in front of your parents.

Type of Kissing
I don't think that kissing is wrong if it's on the cheek or even kissing on the lips in certain circumstances. Now on the subject of French kissing; I don't think it is a good thing for this one reason: some people cannot get that involved in this type of thing without being aroused sexually, and most men and women cannot safely handle the sexual tension between them in that close proximity.

How Much is too Much?
On the subject of kissing, or any close physical contact, it becomes too much when you can no longer control your actions. When it reaches the point where you start to use your hands in places they should not be used, then you have gone too far. Not saying that you cannot put your hands on each other as long as they stay on the back or the arm but nowhere else! (Well, holding hands is OK too).

On the subject of sex; none is way too much. It's that simple.

Sex Before Marriage
Simple answer - the Bible says NO! None! Nada! Zip! Zero! Zilch!, for the sexually immoral will be thrown head first into the pit. But what if you have fallen into this sin with or without realizing it? Simply pray. Go to God, ask Him to forgive you and put His Spirit within you and to put angels before and behind you. Do not be afraid to say out loud: "SATAN, GET THEE BEHIND ME!"

But let me caution you, don't pray this unless you are ready and willing to give this sin back to Satan, for if you do want to give it back, and pray with a foolish heart, I tell you now God will fix the problem! Usually in ways you won't like too much.

Also I believe it should be a fact that each one should be able to frankly say to the other, "I DO NOT BELIEVE IN SEX BEFORE MARRIAGE!"

To the young women, allow me to frankly state that if you are so stupid as to believe the lie, "If you loved me you would have sex with me" then you better learn the right response which is - "If you really loved me you wouldn't ask."

Remember, what you do will affect the rest of your life. Is it really that important to have a boyfriend? Fifteen minutes of pleasure vs. an eternity in a flaming inferno called hell. The choice is yours!

Peer Pressure
As for peer pressure: no real man or woman needs to bow to peer pressure. Instead, welcome the opportunity to stand your ground and be a leader, not a follower. Set the pace. Be the example.

Believe me guys, a woman who sees you give in to peer pressure thinks you're a WIMP. But a woman who sees you stand your ground and not give in will look at you as a REAL MAN.

I hope I have helped you in some way. Please feel free to E-Mail me with anything you may have, be it prayer, counseling, or just a joyous testimony.

Praise the Lord until next time.

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