Gospel Gossip Report
A Report from Backbiter's Cove
It was a time of extreme hardship for the Remnant, a time of sharp
persecution by the Outsiders. The Chief Shepherd had won major victories over
the Deceiver and had rescued some of the Remnant from the very brink of the
Enemy's camp, but never the less, there were Dangers.
Within the Realm of the Deceiver's kingdom there was increased activity.
Despite all efforts to rise above the Problem, corporation after corporation was
at the verge of utter bankruptcy. There was one place, however, that seemed to
escape the force of the Chief Shepherd's blows...
In the thriving community of Backbiter's Cove, business was booming despite
repeated attempts by the Chief Shepherd, (or King of Kings, as He is
affectionately called by the Remnant,) to close down the entire town. The
mainstay of the industrial sector was the Gossip Mill, a huge multi-faceted
corporation responsible for the active employment of thousands of people.
In the midst of economic devastation, (at a time when it seemed that the very
Powers and Principalities themselves were crumbling,) the Gossip Mill was
flourishing, particularly the section known as "The Rumors Division." This
department was concerned solely with the manufacturing and distribution of every
conceivable type of Rumor, among them Vicious Slander, Malicious Lies, and of
course, Unkept Secrets.
The Rumors Division was consistent in providing constant year round
employment for those in both the Production and Busybody departments. It's
employees were responsible for seeing that the right rumors reached the right
people. The target for the vast majority of the products from the Rumors
Division was the Remnant, (a small but select group of individuals known for
their unwavering devotion to the Chief Shepherd.) There was no shortage of
distributors for the Rumors, largely among those that were called Outsiders, for
gossip is a tasty item and no one seemed to want to pass up the opportunity of
But interestingly enough, even some of the Remnant became unwitting
distributors. This seemed to happen most frequently when they had not securely
fastened on the Armor which the Chief Shepherd had equipped them with.
Employment at the Gossip Mill was a daily consideration. Many applied for
work there and very few were turned away, in fact, no one who was a willing
vessel was denied employment. Only two requirements were necessary for
guaranteed lifetime employment: 1.) a measure of self-righteousness, and 2.) a
general lack of regard for the feelings of others. If you possessed these
qualities, you then became a willing vessel and were considered desirable for
Employees were paid on the Reaping and Sowing plan and although they were paid
by the Deceiver himself, it was known to be written in the Company Policy that
each employee would also receive just compensation for his deeds upon the
arrival of the King of Kings. Generally speaking however, employees were not
allowed to become acquainted with Company Policy on a deep level. For, you see,
although the Gossip Mill was the property of the Deceiver, Company Policy had
been written long before by the Chief Shepherd and His Father. Management seemed
to be concerned that the employees not delve too deeply into the whys and
wherefores of Company Policy. Previously, some had and then quit the Gossip Mill
to join the Remnant.
One of the most noticeable things about the people who worked at the Gossip
Mill was that they were all blind or otherwise similarly handicapped, but in
spite of this there was limited contact between management and labor. Orders
were sent up from the Abyss and they were unquestionably obeyed. (Employees
learned this obedience in a rigorous training course. Disobedience meant
disastrous punishment. Oddly enough, it was the same in the Kingdom of the Chief
Shepherd but the Remnant obeyed out of love rather than fear and the results of
disobedience were shown in a much gentler and loving manner.)
Although the Gossip Mill never actually had slack periods of time, they were
busier than ever before. Due to the rapidly approaching arrival of the King of
Kings, (or Chief Shepherd,) the Remnant were facing the greatest time of
cleansing they had ever known. I understand that this was in preparation for
some sort of celebration dinner. (I think it was a wedding feast of sorts.) The
closer it got to the date, the more production was increased in the Rumors
Division. The employees were all on overtime and they seemed to do their jobs
with an increasing amount of zeal. Dart after dart of Vicious Slander and
Malicious Lies were hurled at the Remnant.
The pain was felt by everyone of them but incredibly enough they seemed to
withstand the onslaught with a strength that came from Someone else. And they
insisted on continually praising the Chief Shepherd for what they called 'A
Fiery Trial.' Even when the darts were thrown by one of their own, the Remnant
reacted with an attitude of love and forgiveness that infuriated the inhabitants
of Backbiters' Cove from the least employee to the Mayor himself.
Mayor Wormwood was the one who finally persuaded the Deceiver to base the
Gossip Mill in Backbiters' Cove. He was very powerful in the realm of the
Deceiver but even he could not antagonize the Remnant to the point of separating
them from the Chief Shepherd. Incidentally, the ultimate goal of the Deceiver
was to see how many of the Remnant he could entice or trick into leaving the
Chief Shepherd and joining him. His success rate was extremely low, in fact, all
but non-existent, but rather than discouraging him, this served only to cause
him to increase his efforts.
So the Gossip Mill continues to operate at full power, the Rumors Division
continuously pumping out uglier and more vicious rumors as the minutes tick by.
The Outsiders continue to badger and harass the Remnant who, in turn, continue
to react in a manner completely incomprehensible to anyone but themselves and
the Chief Shepherd. And so the soldiers prepare for the Final Battle, one side
grasping at the straws of hatred and self-indulgence and the other relying on
their convictions and their belief that the Chief Shepherd will soon lead them
This is your roving reporter,
Reporting from Backbiters' Cove
Into the Light Ministries