What Does a Help Meet Do?
To be a help meet (helper) is to live Love.
Love is the key to everything we do, Jesus is the source of it all. Love is an act of the will. It is our choosing to put others
before ourselves. It is a sacrifice and when something dies, it cannot come back to life. It is an attitude such as is given in
Philippians 1:21- 22 and it is a great way to put yourself in the path to a life of joy through service.
The 'old man' (Romans 6:1 - 18) and its sinful, selfish, self-serving ways must die that we might be able to walk in the ministry
that Christ began and left for us to finish. Acts 1:1 tells us that there are things Jesus began to DO and TEACH. By studying
the word of God we see that it is the commission of every Christian to finish what He began and by His actions He showed us that
the life of a servant (John 13:3 - 17), a life of humility, is what we must DO, and we are to TEACH His truths and His way of
living to others, we must love, for He first loved us.
But how do we finish this ministry of service one to another if we don't know what it is that we are to do and how to do it? In
this question we have two separate issues to deal with, the first one being what we are to do and second being how to do it. In
this study we are going to cover the how first, because if we don't go about things from the right perspective in the first place,
we labor in vain. Nobody wants to miss out on the heavenly rewards and blessings because our attitude of heart was not in line
with God's spirit. In the next study we will cover what we are supposed to do.
In this study we will go over both right and wrong attitudes of heart. The best place to start is by knowing what the right
attitude of heart is. It all boils down to one thing, LOVE, and we can see how a lack of love effects our walk with God and our
relationships with others in 1 Corinthians 13.
We must not be afraid to give of ourselves all that we have in service to God (Matthew 19:22). When we hold back and do not empty
ourselves repeatedly, we will find ourselves too full of self to receive greater blessings and a deeper infilling of the Holy
Spirit. The greatest blessing we received was Salvation. When we don't give of ourselves, we are so busy building our own kingdom
that we cannot expand God's kingdom. Worldly things are so hard to hold onto and time so easily gets away from us.
We must willingly choose to surrender our lives, with all our heart, soul, mind and strength. We must take our eyes off of
ourselves and fixate ourselves on doing God's will. Sometimes serving seems like such a daunting task, too much work, not enough hours in the
day. What about me? What about my time? What we forget is that God has given us enough hours in the day to accomplish all that He
has given us to do, and nothing more. If we are diligent, everything we do, every move we make is praise to
God and glorifying His name. The question to ask yourself is this: "Just how many of the tasks I try to accomplish in a day are
things God wants me to actually do?" I know I have had days full to the brim, days of exhausting labor, but not one thing I did in
my busy day was directed of God, merely what I thought needed doing.
Yet those who wait for the LORD will gain new strength; they will mount up with wings like eagles, they will run and not get tired,
they will walk and not become weary.
If we are prepared to do His work and wait upon Him to give us what we need to complete the tasks given us to His satisfaction, He
will fulfill His promise to do so. We can find peace in knowing that this is what we were made to do, this is why we are here. Our
working for others is self-denial and beating the body into submission, trusting that God will meet our wants and needs as we
allow Him to use us to meet the wants and needs in others.
Psalm 139:13 - 16
13) For You formed my inward parts; you wove me in my mother's womb. 14) I will give thanks to You, for I am fearfully and
wonderfully made; wonderful are Your works, and my soul knows it very well. 15) My frame was not hidden from You, when I was made
in secret, and skillfully wrought in the depths of the earth; 16) Your eyes have seen my unformed substance; and in Your book were
all written the days that were ordained for me, when as yet there was not one of them.
Our very soul knows the reason why we were created. Before there was even such a things as days, the Lord had accounted for them
and planned the work with which our hands were to do. We should thank God that in choosing us He also gave us something to do
with the hands He created us to have. We know that it is through faith by grace that we are saved and believing on the name of
Jesus and that nothing we did or will do can save us. In all our works we have nothing to be proud of, for if God did not supply
the work, we would be useless. So the work simply signifies that we are workers of the King, and each and every task we perform
should be done in such an attitude of heart, knowing that with each thing we do that He asks of us, we are reaffirming our love
and commitment to Him.
For unlike any job you can get in the world, service to Christ comes with a real lifelong commitment, a commitment that we must
fulfill regardless of where the Lord takes us in our lives. Once we agree to it we must not fail to fulfill it or we will be
unworthy of His heavenly kingdom. To Him is glory forever and ever.
Luke 9:57 - 62
57) As they were going along the road, someone said to Him, "I will follow You wherever You go." 58) And Jesus said to him, "The
foxes have holes and the birds of the air have nests, but the Son of Man has nowhere to lay His head." 59) And He said to another,
"Follow Me." But he said, "Lord, permit me first to go and bury my father." 60) But He said to him, "Allow the dead to bury their
own dead; but as for you, go and proclaim everywhere the kingdom of God." 61) Another also said, "I will follow You, Lord; but
first permit me to say good-bye to those at home." 62) But Jesus said to him, "No one, after putting his hand to the plow and
looking back, is fit for the kingdom of God."
As we can see here, there are some who at first think that they can live a life of service to Christ. That is until they find out that it
will not be an easy task but rather one filled with hardships and hard labor, they suddenly have something else to do. There are
even those whom Christ has specifically called that half-heartedly attempt giving up themselves and their hopes and dreams to serve others,
walk away with their heads low because in there hearts they know they are not willing to give up a life of luxury now in exchange for an eternity of ease with God. It is
such as these who are unfit for the kingdom of God, by their own doing, by their own unwillingness to serve. (Matthew 19:22)
Which brings us back to a piece of scripture we covered in our previous study; Psalm 45:10 - 11. For when we seek first the
kingdom of God everything we say and DO proclaims the kingdom of God. Everywhere we go we leave His mark, and everything we do in
Him is beautiful, precious in His sight. We must forget and put behind us the way we used to live, the way of our father's house
(the life we lived before salvation). When we were of the world our father was Satan and all his ways were prideful and full of
self, and our ways were prideful and full of self. We must, as Jesus warns us, be wary of the leaven of the Pharisees and
Sadducees (Matthew 16:11 - 12). Now these were worldly men and so was their teaching. If we listen to the world and its teaching
to others about us women who want to be in service to our husbands and want to subject ourselves to those in authority over us, or
how they speak of those just in service to anyone in general, here is what the world says: “Your way of life is weak and to be
despised. You demean our sex and make us lower than them. You make men see us as nothing but baby making machines that need to be
in a kitchen somewhere. You are forcing us to give up our freedom. We have rights and we want to keep them!”
Oh, we have rights well enough, the right to choose eternal life in God's service with His kingdom to look forward to at the end,
happy and content in life with all our needs met. We also have the right to choose ourselves; to fend for ourselves, to go so far
against what God made us to be that at first glance you can't tell if we are male or female and we get everything that comes with
it, an eternity in Hell, but we got it our way all the way there. Giving up our 'personal' freedom to serve our husbands and God
is a small sacrifice, but that is also the extent of our rights.
Service is love and we love those whom we serve. Since God commands us to love our neighbor as ourselves, it makes it that much
easier. It is easy for you to do something for someone you love and it is not a hard labor if it is done in love.
We must be committed to the way of life we choose and obedient unto God and our authority, serving to the best of our ability
knowing that it was God in the first place who gave us these skills, talents and abilities to perform the tasks. It is by His
strength we are able to serve in all circumstances and all hours of the day. We must not be like Lot's wife, (Genesis 19:26) who
could not obey the command given her by her headship. Like all who are unfit for the kingdom she went out for a little while doing
what she was supposed to, but like those who put their hand to the plow and then look back, her lack of obedience cause her to be
turned to a pillar of salt. (I would imagine salt that is bitter and has lost its flavor, and not good for anything (Matthew 5:13).) She could not forget her father's house. She HAD to have one last look. That one last look cost her everything.
She was given the very same command that we are given (Isaiah 30:21) and we are now facing the same choice she did. The question
is do we press on taking hold of what God has given us, a life raft in a sea of sin, or do we take one last look at all that we
are giving up. After all, it is such a noble sacrifice, our filth and rags stained and soiled, our pit full of sin like vomit,
which we returned to time and again. Oh, to be like the dog we once were. No thank you. Why would the glorious creation God made
you to be desire to have anything to do with that?
Take the time right now to repent to God for the things in your old life that you have been hanging on to that are soiling your
relationship with God like muddy boots on clean white carpet. And like muddy boots, leave them where they belong, outside the
I am going 'borrow' a few lines from a song that is really beautiful and really defines what we need to do right now.
“Lord I have made my choice, that from this moment on, till the end of my days, I want to offer up my life as a sacrifice of
We can accept all the good things that God has for us in confidence, knowing that He will supply all that we have a need of. In
particular, He promises us that we can call on Him to help us complete the work He has set for us to do, that we can use His
strength. We can serve in His strength rather than our weakness, so there really is no task too great for us to accomplish once we
finally take ourselves out of the picture (1 Peter 4:11).
We can call upon God to give us wisdom for the moment to aide us in seeing what we must do and the best way to do it, so that
it is pleasing in God's sight, in the knowledge that each time we lay down our desires and give ourselves up for the task at hand,
we draw closer to God. Our love for Him is reaffirmed each time we choose to serve out of that love. We have trustworthy assurance
that we do not labor in vain (1 Corinthians 15:58), and we can continually find the encouragement to not grow weary in serving
God has already given all of us the talents and abilities that we need to serve Him and others (Matthew 25:14 - 30). As we are
faithful and diligent in our service, what we have will increase. We will become better equipped to take on any task that the Lord
lays before us. We can have confidence in Christ that through Him we can accomplish all things for He has overcome the world. We
can be blessed that we serve a loving God who is not a hard taskmaster, (Matthew 11:28 - 30), and that He will not give us more than
we are able to handle. God promises that all who serve Him will not go unrewarded either by way of physical or spiritual
blessings or by meeting our needs and the desires of our hearts. We are assured that each will be rewarded in kind for services
rendered to the King of Love (1 Corinthians 3:8 - 15). We are reminded that our quality of work, even though we are saved,
depends on our attitude of heart. Are we running to serve or are we dragging our feet? Is there joy in the giving or do we feel
used, like we are being taken advantage?
What type of reward does God give us, His servants?
When we prove that we are trustworthy in a few things, He will bestow upon us more tasks and obligations. The reward we have
earned is God's trust. He also rewards us with an overflowing of the spiritual gifts and abilities He has already placed within us.
He increases them as the work load increases, like the fish and the loaves He blessed the lunch of one child that was enough for
just one and made it enough to feed thousands. He will bless the abilities He has given you, which at first were enough to serve
just one, yourself, and increase and multiply it to serve a great many. Not to mention the physical blessings, when He meets a
special need in your life and the desires of your heart, all to show He cares for you.
The Lord knows that it is hard at first for us to break away from the flesh and who we used to be. This is due to our inability to
accept that when we first believed He made us a new creation, and for some Christians it results in many wasted years trying to
grasp and understand and accept and live something that took place years ago, the hour they first believed. Oh the wasted years!
Think of where many of us could have been and how we could have been used by now but our faith was too weak. He also knows, for He
looks to the heart and sees our desire to learn a new way of life, His way, to walk clean and free from our hovels and bonds, to
walk in the newness of life as daughters of the Most High God, handmaidens to the King of Kings (Psalm 119:25 - 38).
When we walk in His paths and allow Him to guide our steps, keeping alive in our being His covenant with us and living His
testimonies in our body, proclaiming them with our lips, we walk in the loving-kindness of God (Psalm 25:10), no matter where He
leads us. As we work out our salvation with fear and trembling, with a willingness of heart to work in our physical bodies for His
good pleasure (Philippians 2:12 - 15), from doing the dishes to be a blessing, to standing for hours on end praying for person
after person in an alter call, making sure everyone who comes get the touch from God that they came to receive, be willing to be
used of God and knowing that it's Him who produces good works through you and not of yourself, that you yourself can't help anyone
for we are born sinful and selfish from the womb. Everyday we serve God more of that sinful, selfish person dies and Christ within
us remains. Everyday we are obedient unto Him we draw closer to Him and cement more firmly our claim as legitimate heirs with
Christ in the eternal reward, His heavenly kingdom. And we fight against the flesh and its desire to cleave to the old creation.
We women were created for service. Yet when we do not stand against our worldliness we often instead go against our creator and
become unwilling to do the very thing He made us to do. Imagine if oxygen one day decided it didn't want to be breathable anymore.
All would suffer for lack of air. When we decide we don't want to do what God has given us to do by way of not serving through
love and submission to our husbands, by not being godly mothers and caretakers to our children, by not being godly sisters in
Christ to our parents and brothers and sisters in the Lord, all suffer at the lack of our helping hands and hearts.
Why must we do the work that God has given us to do?
(See Isaiah 57:14 - 15) That through us GOD might revive and refresh HIS people.
As a helpmeet it is our job to remove every obstacle, or chore, or duty that may hinder those WE serve from doing his or her job.
Lord, have mercy on us if we cause the people we have committed ourselves to in service to have to cease serving God in the tasks
that He has given them to do in order for them to come and do our job too. This happens when we fail to love, to put others ahead
of ourselves out of love (1 John 2:10, Matthew 23:13). When we purpose in our hearts to put ourselves first we make ourselves last
in God's eyes. We are so busy meeting our own needs, we relieve God of His need to meet our needs in His power and strength and
with a knowledge that only God has. Let me ask you this, who gives better gifts than God? Can you do what He can? I don't think
so. Then why would you by taking care of yourself, tell Him to take your name off the help list because you have all your bases
covered and can watch out for yourself? Doing this is crazy.
We are all in this together and we need to work together, to see that none of us fall behind or try to leave ourselves behind, to
encourage one another to pick up the pace. We are in a race and it is only going to get faster as the end draws near. Everyone
gets a second wind towards the end of the race but what good will it do you if you are too far behind because you are dragging
dead weight, your self will.
As there is always two sides to every story, there is also attitudes of serving: that of love, which we have already covered and
the other being prideful, selfish laziness (Proverbs 6:6 - 11). Nothing is ever accomplished by such a person and anything that
does come from their hand, you don't want any part of, because their motives are of self and no good can come of it. We have
already started to see what the word of God says happens when someone fails to do his or her work; it must be done by another. The
crown that would have been appointed to the person God decreed should originally do the work passes to the one who is faithful in
doing the work God had originally given them and for picking up the slack for another. They are doubly rewarded. The word of God,
the wisdom of God given to king Solomon says this about the lazy person:
The way of the sluggard is as a hedge of thorns, but the path of the upright is a highway.
The sluggard is closed off, from God and man, unable to get close enough to anyone to be of any good, for even a decent
relationship takes work and commitment. That's why we have wedding vows; these are commitments we vow to uphold for "as long as we
both shall live." They are unable to receive for they have earned nothing. They produce no fruit and receive NO BLESSINGS FROM
Re-read Matthew 25:14 - 46 if you need to, take note of the lazy, selfish servant.
The Lord has shown us the WAY to serve both God and man and that by serving our fellow man we, in turn, serve God.
You will make known to me the path of life; in Your presence is fullness of joy; in Your right hand there are pleasures forever.
The path of life is love, planted in our hearts by God when we first believed. When the love He planted blooms in our hearts we
have the next promise fulfilled, fullness of joy, joy in the serving, it is the second fruit of the spirit. When we serve God and
are pleasing in His sight He rewards us and stores up for us a heavenly reward, a treasure that lasts forever. Psalm 16:11 ties
in with Proverbs 15:19: “The way of the lazy is as a hedge of thorns, but the path of the upright is a highway.” The lazy can
neither give nor receive for they are closed off. It is they who cultivate that hedge of thorns. Just as a highway is open and
without obstacles to slow others down and cause them to stumble, it is useful and speeds us on to where we need to be, so is a
person who is unafraid of a little elbow grease, a little hard work, and a desire to remove obstacle and burdens from the way of
others, a person who wants to leave their mark of expansion on the kingdom of God as a love offering to Christ, who is open to
anything the Lord asks of them and open to receive of the pleasures of His hand, fullness of joy.
So as we read at the beginning, love is the key to everything we do and Jesus is the source of it all. If we have not love, we
have not Christ Jesus and we are lost. We must start again, for the first fruit that blooms in the life of a Christian is love
(Galatians 5:22). If we are walking close to God His fruit will grow in us. His love on us, in us and flowing out from us is how
we know that we are His, totally 100% a child and love slave of God, a bond servant to Love and the author of Love, Christ Jesus.
On a finishing note, this final piece of encouragement:
Proverbs 4:11 - 13
11) I have directed you in the way of wisdom; I have led you in upright paths. 12) When you walk, your steps
will not be impeded; and if you run, you will not stumble. 13) Take hold of instruction; do not let go, guard her, for she is your
Proverbs 4:18 - 23
18) But the path of the righteous is like the light of dawn, that shines brighter and brighter until the full
day. 19) The way of the wicked is like darkness; they do not know over what they stumble. 20) My son, give attention to my words;
incline your ear to my sayings. 21) Do not let them depart from your sight; keep them in the midst of your heart. 22) For they are
life to those who find them and health to all their body. 23) Watch over your heart with all diligence, for from it flow the
springs of life.
Now we know that all our actions and thoughts and words must spring from love, that love is patient and kind and never ceases in
doing good. Sometimes love is tough but God's love can achieve a great many things, if we will but submit ourselves unto Him and
those in authority over us. It is submission that we will cover in our next study. Be blessed at just how much easier it will be
for us now that we all know just what kind of attitude we are to have. Love.
If you missed the 1st lesson in this Women's Study go to Why Did God
Please feel free to contact us with any questions on this article.