Dear Sister, Truly, my heart goes out to you in your present situation. I too was sexually and mentally abused as a child, by both my
father and my uncle, who was his younger brother and sometimes by both on the same night because my uncle was living
with us. My mother (biological) is still in denial 15 years later, at least about what my father did, she will admit to
what my uncle did though, and now she asks me the same question your mother did 'what do you want me to do?' As a
mother, when faced with the truth, she should have known that there was only one thing to do, get the hell out, and go
the police. Yes, living on the streets would have been better than that life.
So yes, I have some idea of what it is you have been through and are going through even now. And I have some very strong
advice for you, actually, I will tell you what God commands us in His word to do, but the choice still remains yours,
and for each, there is a heavy price to pay, one may involve losing your family, which from personal experience, is not
as bad as the alternative, losing God.
This is what God commands you to do if others will not 'scream the truth from the house tops' (Matthew 10 v 26-28
& Luke 12 v 2-7), tell your sister, and you will be protecting not just your nieces, but other children that he
comes in contact with on a daily basis that you know nothing about. Otherwise, innocent blood is on YOUR hands (Isaiah 1
v 15, Isaiah 59 v 7 & Jeremiah 22 v 3)) that you will have to give an account of before God because you stood by and
did nothing when you had the God given power to do something about it! As the old saying goes, evil flourishes when a
good man (or in your case a good woman) does nothing (Matthew 12 v 35 Ephesians 4 v 17-24). A child molester never stops
abusing, it's a line before God that once crossed is almost (or in my personal opinion absolutely) impossible to come
back from, they never lose the desire for it in their hearts, they simply move on to new victims as the current get too
old. I would like to say that your stepfather might be different, but sadly I am 100% certain that I am not wrong in
this.
Most importantly, you need to GO TO THE POLICE (Romans 13 v 1, 1 Peter 2 v 11-17) for God commands us to obey the laws
of the land, and in this country, if you don't go to the police, you are an accessory to the fact, which basically means
that if one of your nieces is touched and does the smart thing by going to the police and the police find out you knew
and you did nothing (not even to help yourself, because as a 13,14,15 or even 16 year old, you knew that what had been
done to you was wrong, you should have done something for yourself if no one else would), you could be facing criminal
charges along side him, so I would say that now is the time for you to choose which side of the Law you want to be on.
Also, God commands you to have nothing to do with your stepfather or your mother (2 Corinthians 6 v 14-18, 1 Corinthians
5 v 11), she made her choice the very first time you went to her about it and she decided to allow a monster to continue
to destroy her child, she could have left him when you were eleven, but in her selfishness, she valued his money and
false security over her own child's safety and purity, because of her inaction, you were robbed of something you can
never get back, and that makes her no mother at all. Even an animal will defend it's young.
I know that what I have to say comes across as harsh, and it will be a hard thing for you to do, especially if (your
stepsister) the mother of your nieces is his natural daughter, she might tell you that he never touched her, which might
be true but that is doubtful, who knows, he may have found it easier to play out his evil desires on you, because you
were not his daughter.
So, IF you do the right thing before God (Proverbs 16 v 3), you do stand the chance of losing your 'family' (Mark 10 v
29-30), but you will save the innocence of young defenseless children, a wonderful thing in God's eyes. And if you do
not do the right thing, you will lose God because you chose to uphold and hide evil. But I want to encourage you in
this, the Lord is not a respecter of persons (Romans 2 v 11), and He says in his word that what He has done for one He
can do for another, I was lonely because I told the truth about my blood family (Psalm 68 v 6), and He placed me in a
godly family, one that's stands up to injustice of any kind and SUPPORTS others who wish to do the same, if he can do
that for me, he can do it for you, if you lose your family to the truth, then, you have lost nothing and have everything
to gain, for the lord can and will bring along a family that will encourage you and who will desire to see you grow in
the things of God. If it goes down that way, make sure your nieces know the truth about what happened to you, and make
sure they understand that they can come to you or call you if anything ever happens to them and that you will believe
and help them in any way you can.
Go and ask your mother, was the life she lived, while you were in hell worth the price you paid for her. Look to
yourself, remember the terror you experienced every single day, imagine the terror your nieces may be experience every
they go to his house, and you sister unwittingly sending them off to 'help grandpa in the barn' even when they protest
most vehemently to her about it, and you will find her saying 'I don't understand why you are behaving this way, you
shouldn't treat your grandfather like this, it's very rude' and being so embarrassed by their behavior. I have seen it
all before and sadly, I have seen way too many people choose to do nothing rather than rock the boat (Galatians 1 v 10
& 1 Thessalonians 2 v 4), and put someone who truly deserves to be behind bars in jail, they don't want to be the
one responsible for something like that, but someone has to be responsible and if not you, than who, and if not now,
then when? When it's too late and all that's precious and pure in their lives is gone and they have no special gift to
give their husband on their wedding night because some undeserving animal took it from them, all this is in your hands.
You're fortunate; you are 27, for I was only 21 and seven months pregnant with our first child when I went through it.
If I had not willingly spoken out, on top of what I had already lost as a child, I would have lost my husband too,
because as a man of God he would not stand beside someone who would do nothing in the face of such great evil, for my
father was an 'upstanding' member of society, a retired police officer and a well known and respected pastor, try
telling the truth to people about a man with those qualifications.
No one will believe it when you try to speak the truth (John 3 v 11), they just don't want to, that is why the church
will never help you deal with it, they would rather sweep it under the carpet and have 'closet counseling sessions'.
My sister-in-law can tell you just how well church counseling works, her first husband who is now in jail, sexually
abused their little baby, and she was two by the time my sister found out what he was doing to her, that he would park
outside elementary schools and masturbate over little girls as they played, and that he would sneak into her (his
wife's) youngest sisters room and masturbate over her as she slept, and would peek in the window of the bathroom in
his own house as her (his wife's) second youngest sister showered, the poor girl saw him through the window, got out
of the shower and walked half-way across town to her home in tears. My sister-in-law was heart broken, and guess who she
went to for help with her perverted husband, yep, that's right, my father, for they were attending his church and never
even knew what kind of person he was, they were told it would be dealt with in house so to speak. But in general, no
church is going to tell you what it is that you have to do before God, and it all boils down to one thing.... Scandal,
they care about the opinion of man rather than the opinion of the creator of the universe. Sad but true!
My sister, (my blood sister, whom I now have nothing to do with) has already made her choice and it was the so-called
churched that helped her do it, when she was eleven, she tried to tell the truth and no one believed her, in fact the
church split up into two groups about the whole thing half were mad at her, the other half were mad at the woman who
tried to help her, yet strangely no one in this so called church was mad at my father or my uncle for what they had
done, in fact that's how my biological dad became the pastor! Right there and then, rather than face that kind of
humiliation again, my sister vowed never to tell a soul, she is the same age as you (28 years old now), and she is now a
primary school teacher who helps with children with learning disabilities, every now and then she now invites him (our
father, who spent my entire childhood as a Sunday school leader and religious educator in primary schools all over town)
into her classes and leaves him alone with them for story time, because on the one hand, she doesn't care who else gets
hurt, why should she be the only one to suffer? And secondly, she simply doesn't want to deal with the embarrassment of
having her family publicly disgraced, but the truth is that the family is a disgrace because of the sick and twisted
evil that goes on behind closed doors still. Which grows ever worse because she won't speak up, thanks to the church and
it's way of dealing with things and it's inability to stand up and fight evil in whatever form it may take, be it
demon or sick perverted men or women with a nice suit and hair cut.
Because of such people as these, my testimony has no power in court and I am still trying to get my father and my uncle
who now has three children of his own, (two boys aged 12 and 11, and a little girl who is about 7 years old) all to
himself to do as much evil to as he wishes, and there is no one to stop him. But I tried, and before God I did all I
can, the blood is not on my hands, but it breaks my heart to know that there are three children in Australia that live
with a monster and no one will do anything to help, all for the sake of public opinion, not even their older cousin, who
is too wrapped up and self-absorbed in her own misery to care for anyone else.
It will be a fight, and we will pray for you as you make your decision, we will pray that you make the right one
regardless of the personal and emotional cost to yourself and bearing in mind the importance of placing others before
ourselves, the key to godly love. Any time you have a question or need help, you are welcome to contact us, if
necessary, I will send you a phone number at which you can contact our ministry team or myself in person and you will be
able to speak with several people who have been through what you are going through and made it to the other side with
Christ's love and healing power, He will be a tower of strength to you in your time of trouble and a firm foundation to
you when all else seems to be falling apart, in Him you can rest assured, that as you do His will, He will meet your
every need, even when at times it may seem that He has not, if you give it time, you will be able to look back and see
how greatly God moved for you and through you. I am sorry that there was no fairytale ending to this letter, so please
keep in mind that sometimes, life is a harsh reality, but the heavenly rewards far outweigh the cost of what lies before
you, should you accept and ACT upon my advice.
For more information and help for victims of abuse Click Here.
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