Married To A Pedophile

There was once a young couple that met through their best friends. They were at a party one night and took each other's fancy so they decided to start a relationship. The next morning after a night of pleasure she handed him her phone number and told him to call her. From there the relationship progressed and they were dating for many months. Every now and then he would come to visit and she would be asleep in her room. Her parents would let him go in to wake her up, but that wasn't what really happened. He would sit there beside her bed watching her sleep. Sometimes her stomach would be showing and he would get tempted to see more. So he would hitch up her shirt over her breasts or pull her skirt down waking her up. She was afraid to say anything for fear of what he might do so she lay there and pretended she was asleep while he masturbated over her. She, being young as she was, decided she was in love with the boy and so when he proposed, she said "yes." They went to pre-marital counseling where they learned about marriage and all of the important things involved. The biggest one was communication. So they started to talk about themselves thinking it would help. The young woman, expecting the relationship would get better, was in for the biggest shock of her life.

As they started to communicate with each other, secrets came out of the closet. They were sitting in the car outside of her parents' house one day when he shared something with her. He said, "I imagine your little sister when I masturbate sometimes." The young girl was horrified, not only at the fact it was her little sister, but more so at the fact that she was only 13. She cried and he told her she was stupid and she should be grateful for his honesty. (After all, weren't they working on communication?)

For months after this he would do these things over and over again. Sitting outside of schools watching the little girls come out in their short-skirted uniforms while he sat in his car letting his imagination go wild. He would go to his friends' house and sit there with him looking at child pornography on the Internet. He had thoughts about little girls and masturbated. He had wet dreams about little girls. He was even looking at children under ten years old and infants not even two. All these things came out while they were in pre-marital counseling and all they were told was that he could change.

The young girl was thinking of breaking up with the man when she found out that she was pregnant by him. Because they were "church people" and she believed that a child should be raised with both its parents she decided that she would tell him and they were married.

The problems with masturbation carried on and the marriage counseling still wasn't helping. She was worried that if he was having these thoughts and dreams maybe he would do something terrible to a child for real. So one day she asked him, "You won't ever do that to my little sister will you?" His answer was, "no, I would never do that to her, I love her too much."

One night they decided to have some of the young teens at there home for a video night sleepover. It was only her thirteen-year-old sister and friend who came so they watched movies together and went to bed. The next morning the young woman was sick and couldn't get out of bed. The baby was sleeping and she thought the two young girls were asleep in their living room. The phone rang and on the other end was her big sister calling to see if she was okay. The young woman said, "yes, I'm sick today but I'll be fine." Then her sister asked her if she knew what had happened and it was then that she found out that her guests had left the house. Her little sister had walked all the way to the other side of the suburb on her own early in the morning and the other young girl had gotten a lift home with the woman's husband. She was told that her husband had been caught looking at her little sister in the shower. The young woman broke down and hung up the phone. When her husband came home, she told him to tell her everything he had ever done to any girl that he shouldn't have. So the confession started.

"I touched your ten year old sister when she was asleep," he said. The young woman was heart broken. "Did you touch her or did you molest her, which one was it?" His reply came back harshly, " I just touched her."

The young couple went to the elders of the church for ministry. "Don't worry about it lass, we'll deal with it," the pastor said. She went back home and waited for something to be done. The pastor, whom she trusted dearly came to visit that afternoon and sat her husband down at the table to talk. For two hours they sat there, the pastor speaking about this and that, drawing small boxes with words in them and explaining them in great detail with big words from the Bible. The young man seemed to understand and she was baffled by the pastor's method but didn't say a word. After all, what more did she know about God's ministry than the pastor himself?

The pastor set up ministry sessions for the couple with people of great standing in the church where they could deal with the young man's problem with masturbation. "Don't tell anyone else," the pastor said, "no-one else needs to know." So the young couple did as they were told. They went to their ministry sessions and learned about God and marriage and were encouraged for most of the week. But the young man could not stop his obsession with masturbation, and the young girl started to hate him more and more with each confession. She was worried about her child. They argued over and over again for months. Her questions always asked in tears after each confession, "if you love me, why can't you stop it?" His answer always, "I don't know why you're so upset, of course I love you, but I can't stop, I like it too much." The young woman tried to tell her parents what had happened to their daughter but they didn't believe her. They thought he was too good a young man to do something as awful as that. They kept telling her she didn't know what she was talking about, besides, her sister would have said something.

The church ministers told her that divorce was wrong, and God hates it. So she stayed with him and the problem still persisted.

One day, by the Lord himself, a man and his wife came to town. The young couple invited them to dinner one night and surprisingly to them the subject of masturbation and child molestation was brought up while they ate. The visitor shared how the Lord hates pedophiles (child molesters) and so did he. The young man agreed with no reserve. After a while the secret came out and before she knew it, the young woman was being ministered to with the truth and what God's Word REALLY says about pedophilia and marriage.

The young woman sat before God and prayed for months about what she should do. She studied hard about marriage. She studied hard about divorce and found all of the answers to her questions. A few months later, she left him. She took her little baby girl and went to stay with friends she had met.

The pastor understood her wanting to leave him but still tried to discourage her to no avail. Her parents didn't know why she had left him so she decided to let the pastor arrange a meeting between her parents and her ex-husband. They all went to the meeting and there her parents listened, stunned to hear that what the young woman had been trying to tell them was true. The father was angry but his pastor, in whom he believed was the wisest man he knew, told him not to do anything, that it was being dealt with.

One year later, after no ministry was helping her ex-husband and the problem hadn't been dealt with, the young woman went to the police and told them everything that had happened. Other people whom her ex-husband had confessed everything to went to the police also and told them what he had done. It was not long after that her fears about her own child also were answered, that her ex-husband had masturbated over her also and many others had been violated also in his thoughts.

Because of this story, her ex-husband is being investigated by the police, and also many other stories of families in that same church are coming to the light and people whom nobody thought were harmful are being revealed as pedophiles, including the pastor. And to this day, the young woman still wonders, how many more children that were thought to be protected, have been harmed? How many more men and women who proclaim to be servants of our Lord are really serving their fleshly lusts? And more importantly, how many more children will be harmed because one person listens to another say, "don't tell anyone, we in the church will deal with it?"

If this story sounds familiar, you need to sit down and be honest with yourself. Do you have children? If a person says they "touched" a child and not molested, there is no difference, they still overstepped their boundaries. Is your spouse masturbating over children, sitting at a computer looking at child pornography, masturbating while thinking of a child? Look at the situation you are in and ask the Lord to reveal it to you. Because if He does and you don't say anything, the Lord will hold YOU responsible for that child. Their blood will be on YOUR hands because you didn't do what the Lord tells you to do in His Word. Do you know of a situation where a child has been molested and nothing has been done about it? Imagine how many more children will be touched after that child if nothing is done about the person who touched them, because it will happen again.

It is a proven fact that no pedophile has EVER been able to stop themselves from touching children once they've done it. Every single study that has been done from close personal contact with a pedophile has proven that it will never stop, even if that pedophile has been in prison for fifty years. Do you hear this? A pedophile will NEVER stop!

First of all, no servant of the Lord is above the law.
The Word of God says in 1 Peter 2:13-16; 13) Submit yourselves to every ordinance of man for the Lord's sake: whether it be to the king as supreme;
14) Or to governors, as unto them that are sent by him for the punishment of evildoers, and for the praise of them that do well,
15) For so is the will of God, that with well doing ye may put to silence the ignorance of foolish men:
16) As free, and not using your liberty for a cloak of maliciousness, but as the servants of God.

Don't ever use your salvation and standing in Christ as an excuse to hide the sin of a man. If you know of a child who has been molested and that child cannot speak for themselves, go to the police and report it. We, as servants of the Lord, are always telling people in our families, "don't speed, it's against the law," or "don't steal, don't murder, don't beat your spouse." So what makes pedophilia different? So many children are suffering from this and it's being hidden in the church. The Lord says to protect the children, not to hide the things that happen to them.

Second, if your pastor or the person who is giving you counsel tells you to keep quiet and tell no-one, correct him and FIND ANOTHER CHURCH! Your pastor is giving you the wrong counsel and that is the last thing you need. You're setting yourself up for false doctrine, and besides that, if he's hiding that, how many other cases is he hiding and how many more will follow? All they that hide these sins from the law are disobeying God to His face. Do you really want to be in that position? Read 1 Corinthians chapter 5 and see exactly what the Lord says SHOULD be done.

Third, if it is your boy/girlfriend who is touching children, masturbating over them, anything to do with children at all, GET OUT OF THAT RELATIONSHIP and report any incidents that involve children in a sexual way. It's a guarantee that it's going to happen if it hasn't already. If they are a parent to your child and you are thinking of marrying them for your child, DON'T! A pedophile will never stop, and why put your children in that position. The Lord would rather they be raised by one parent safely than see them being touched, and hurt by someone who idolizes their sin of sexual immorality. Not only that, but marriage is to be done out of love between two people, it was not meant as an obligation. What's more, you should already be repenting before God because you have committed fornication already by having pre-marital sex!

Fourth, the Lord hates divorce, yes. But did your teacher ever tell you the rest of that scripture? In Matthew 5:31-32 take a good look at the words "except for" or "saving for the cause of" FORNICATION. Look up the word fornication. In my concordance it says: harlotry, adultery, incest, idolatry. It says also in the Word of God that whatsoever a man thinks in his heart so shall it be -Proverbs 23:7. Look at Leviticus 19:17, Titus 1:15 and Deuteronomy 5:18. If you are married to a pedophile and the Lord is telling you to leave that person, then do it. While you're at it, get your children out of there too! Or suffer the consequences and pain of a molested child and be full of guilt for the rest of your life while you wait for the Lord to come and pass judgment on you because you covered it up. You have all of His answers in His Word. It is a big choice for you to make, but wouldn't you rather have your children protected and know that you did what the Lord wanted you to do?

If you knew that a child was being touched and didn't know what to do, now you know. Pray, ask the Lord for guidance and listen to what He wants you to do. You may not like the answer He gives you, but it's worth it. Our children are precious and the Lord Himself gave them to us because He thought we were the perfect parents for them. Protect them and expose the terrible sin that has so cunningly crept its way into our churches and lives. The choice is yours, and may the Lord God judge you according to the choice you make.

As a postscript to this article, Jesus has since blessed me with a Godly husband and two beautiful children. The man referred to in this article is from a past relationship. We have many replies and responses to this article. Click Here to read just one.

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